Uh Oh!

Mummy has been trying to make me talk. Honestly, she is SO lazy. For months now I have been trying to get her to learn my language. I have even developed signs to help her understand. She won't entertain the idea, of course - she's too stubborn. So instead it seems I have to take on 2 languages. This is no small task for one so young. I mean, for goodness sake, it's taken me this long to develop Small Speak, and now I have to learn Big too!? It's a lot to ask. However, seeing Mummy's face light up when I say 'Mumma', and realising how proud she is when I ask for a 'Anana' is satisfyingly rewarding. It is also funny to trick Mummy. I say some new words, I make her proud, she decides to show off to her friends when we're out. She will say, 'Say Hello, Sophie' and because she refused to give me a biscuit or watch more Waybuloo earlier on that day I will smile at them and say 'AbahbahBAH, and look all cute.
Yep. Revenge is, indeed, sweet. Just because I am Small does not mean I forget things.

The fantastic thing about Big talk is how ridiculous it can be. The other day, Mummy said 'Uh Oh' - seriously, what is that even meant to mean!? Sounds that I made before I'd even perfected Small made more sense than that. And she said it with so much meaning as well - like she was really, really serious about making this hilarious noise! I couldn't help but laugh. It's times like these that it pays to be cute. She thought that I was laughing WITH her. 'Uh Oh', Mummy, you have SO much to learn!

That scary bearded man. . .

Mummy took me to another Christmas party yesterday. For the most part, it was really, really fun. There were so many toys to play with, loads of my friends were there, Mummy must have been in a good mood as she let me have biscuits, and was left to roam as much as I pleased.

Mummy explained that if I was a good girl I'd be allowed to meet Santa. I've heard quite a lot about Santa recently. I thought he sounded nice enough, if a little odd. (Why rush around trying to visit every single house in the world in one night? It must be so stressful! Has he never heard of parcelforce?)

Anyway.

Mummy said that Santa was a very friendly man, who always wore a red suit and had a long white beard. He would have a present for me, she said, if I'd been a very good girl.

So I stuck to my part of the bargain. I was a REALLY good girl for the whole party. I shared when Mummy told me to, and even when she didn't. I didn't make a fuss when a fellow small stole the In The Night Garden ball that I'd been waiting patiently to play with ever since we arrived. I excelled myself! This Santa malarky had better be worth it, I thought.

Suddenly it was time! Mummy scooped me up and rushed me over. My number was called and we were ushered into a dark little tent-type thing. And I was sat down. And I looked round. And I saw THE SCARIEST LOOKING THING I've ever seen in my life! I presume there was a Big under there somewhere, but I couldn't tell because he was hiding behind this white hair all over his face. It was even longer than Mummy's, but wasn't snuggly like hers. I decided the best course of action was to try and escape, but Mummy held me close and said it was ok. What was ok about this situation?! He handed me a present but I didn't want to open it for fear it would contain more of that horrible face hair and that I'd never be able to escape it. (What it actually contained was a really good book, but this is besides the point, I didn't know this at the time.)

Alarmingly, Mummy didn't seem disturbed in the slightest about this whole experience and instead decided to tell me on the way home that Santa would be coming to our house on Christmas Eve because I'd been a really good girl this year. SANTA coming to OUR HOUSE! Like, actually coming INSIDE while I'm SLEEPING!! What is Mummy thinking?! Is this what I get for being good all year?!

I'd be kicking up more of a fuss about this, except that Mummy says he's going to bring me loads of presents. Terrifying as he is, I'm not one to reject presents. I'm going to try and be as brave as I possibly can. I'm thinking about forgiving him if he brings me Waybuloo.

18th December - Grandparents

Last night Mummy and Daddy had a Christmas party. Mummy said it was for Daddy's work, and that it was for Big's only, so I had to sleep over at Nana & Dada's house. I must admit, as much as I love Nana & Dada, I was a bit put out. I do like a good party. But then Mummy said that at the party they don't play games or have bears dressed as Santa like we do. She said that they will sit around a table and have a drink and have a chat. This just sounds silly to me. Where's the fun in that? Sounds to me like the Big's could really learn a thing or two from us Small's - they clearly don't know how to party like we do.

I digress.

So Mummy got me ready and took me round to Nana & Dada's house. This was fine by me. I have come to realise that Grandparents are basically parents who spoil you. It's the same at Granny & Grump-pas house. As soon as Mummy turns her back, the treats start coming. Just little things, like I'm allowed to stay up past my bedtime, or I'm allowed one more biscuit, or I'm allowed 2 doors from my advent calendar, instead of one.

At Nana's house, I am allowed in the high chair whenever I want. I can roam the house and am rarely told 'no'. At Granny's house, I sneak into the kitchen whenever Mummy's not looking and Granny will sneak me treats. I am also allowed to root through Grandpa's cupboard to my hearts content. Mummy would NEVER let me do that at home! It hasn't escaped my notice that Grandparents like feeding their Grand-smalls. It would be rude to reject their kind offers though, wouldn't it?!

Grand is another word for Excellent. This backs up my theory. A Grandparent is an Excellent parent. (I also have Great Grandparents, you can imagine how amazing they are!!)

Mummy says that at Christmas we are going to spend the day at Nana & Dada's house, then the next day we're flying to Granny & Grandpa's house and having another Christmas there!! I am going to be so spoiled. All that time for the Grandparents to dote over me! Mummy and her rules won't stand a chance!

14th December - Party Time, Take 1

Today was the first of my Christmas parties of this year. Mummy tells me I have several to look forward to.

I'd barely even woken up when an over excited Mummy

appeared in my bedroom. She whipped me out of my cot, changed my nappy, brushed my hair, gave me a bread roll, put me in my car seat (still eating said roll), and we were off! Within 15 minutes of waking up I was plonked into a room full of fellow Smalls, all looking just as bewildered as I felt. What was Mummy thinking?!

Things began to pick up once the music started. As previously mentioned, I do like a good boogey. Better still, we were given fun things to play with for each song, like wooden spoons, teddy bears and bean bags. Maybe Mummy had the right idea, after all.

But nothing could prepare me for what was to come! Just as my dancing was really coming into it's own, we were ushered downstairs into a big room with lots of toys. Not that that's relevant, we weren't allowed to play with said toys, we were made to sit on the floor and shout as loudly as we could. This usually isn't a problem, I like being loud, but I was still annoyed with the Big's for making us sit still. Anyway. When the Big's were content with the noise we were making, the door opened and in walked one of the most bizarre things that I have ever seen in my short time on this earth. A MASSIVE teddy bear. Like, a real life massive teddy bear. He walked, and waved, and did very little else. He also had a big red hat on. I suspect he was trying to pretend he was Santa, or something, didn't fool me though, the real Santa is a Big, not a bear.

Lucky for me I kept these thoughts to myself, as just as I was about to protest my name was called out. The bear had a present for me! All wrapped up in pretty paper ready for me to tear apart! I still didn't quite understand what was going on, but I had a present followed by party food (as well as my lunch, added bonus!!)

So I've learned that Christmas parties consist of music, loud Big's, loud Small's, presents and food. I can live with this. I'm looking forward to my next one now!

Dolly - An Apology

I have to apologise to Dolly. I couldn't sleep last night for shame of calling her useless! For the record,

Dolly is far from useless.

In fact, she is very useful! Just like Mummy doesn't know where she'd be without me, I don't know where I'd be without Dolly.

Let me give you a bit of background history on our relationship.

Me and Dolly

first became acquainted when I was 7 months old. I loved (and still love) snuggling up to Mummy, sucking my thumb and playing with her hair. I couldn't have just my thumb, I had to have hair as well, to run through my fingers. It feels nice and I played with it all the time when I was drinking Mummy's booby milk. But Mummy realised that even though she was with me most of the time, she wasn't with me always, so I needed a substitute. I didn't want her to do anything drastic, like cut off her hair, because then what would I reach up and stroke at milk time? So, Mummy came up with a solution. She sewed a hair extension onto Dolly, and a very special new friendship was formed.

Dolly comes everywhere with me. I especially need her when it's nap time or night-night time. I also need her at other times too though, like when Mummy says 'no' because I dial numbers on the telephone, or when I'm not allowed to climb on the TV stand. Dolly makes life a little bit easier to deal with.

As time as gone on, our friendship has developed. She's not only a comfort thing any more, she's a friend too. When I wake up in the morning, she's the first one I talk to (and also the only one who truly understands my language). She goes on a lot of adventures with me and she's the only one in the whole wide world who knows each and every one of my secret hiding places! (I know that I can trust her NEVER to tell Mummy where I hid her car keys, for example).

Dolly is my very best friend, and therefore, is not useless.

Dolly, I am sorry, I have no idea what came over me. Must have got up on the wrong side of the cot.

13th December - Working hard

Every day I marvel at how lucky Mummy is to have me. I honestly don't know how she'd cope without. Today, Mummy was tidying the living room and I noticed, with horror, how bare the Christmas tree was looking. So, I sat down and made a Christmas angel to sit on the top.

Seeing that Mummy was still busy, I decided to help her write out all the Christmas cards to send to our friends and family. Dolly tried to help too, but in the grand scheme of things, she's a bit useless really. I'll have to have words.

12th December - Dancing

I have taught myself some cool new moves. I know they're pretty good because Mummy and Daddy got unnaturally excited about them. So excited, in fact, that they decided to constantly rewind and repeat the SAME song over and over to get me to dance some more. Don't get me wrong, it's nice that they're so supportive and all that, but my goodness they are repetitive!! I cooperated at first because I don't like to disappoint, but there's only so much of the CBeebies birthday song that one baby can take!!

Just in case anyone is interested in learning my moves, they go like this. First, wave your from side to side. Maybe move your head from side to side too, this seems to sufficiently please any onlookers. Then, stamp your feet as fast as you possibly can. THEN (here comes the really tricky bit!) do it all at the same time!! Yes, I am amazing.

But here comes the very best bit - you must only do it when there is not a camera in sight. As soon as someone whips out a camera in an attempt to catch this piece of genius, stop.

I love outsmarting the grown-ups!